Scared

lost in silence

I'm wondering if it's already time, time to accept and love. I know I'm always scared because I've experienced  enough pain since the day Paul and I broke-up last year. I love him so much up to the point that I am willing to do everything for him to come back. I felt rejected back then, he always ended up denying that we saw each other and etc. The pain that I've experienced and felt makes my heart numb, I don't want to love anymore, I am so scared that if I fell in love with someone again, I'll end up being hurt and hanging. I don't want to experience what I experienced before. I don't want to suffer and be broken again.

Taking risk may be dangerous! I don't know if I can truly open my heart once again, that I can love someone as much as I loved my ex before. I know I should take some risk for me to know what should be the possible outcome if I'll give my heart to that person, the person who's been with me for quite sometime, the person that's been with me through my downfall, the person that knows my daily activities even though we rarely see each other. He's not my type but lately I saw his deeper being, the type of person that I see and think of my other half, the person who can love you despite of your flaws. But honestly, for now, I only seen him as a FRIEND, the CLOSEST BOY FRIEND here in my heart. I don't know what will happen to us but I hope we'll end-up happy :)